Discover Brüner Satellite
Internet Bundles

Jimmy B is here to make the world a better place, one connection at a time.

Brüner’s Best Plans:

PAMANTHA SHOW LESS

3000/mo

Dollar sign

Free Change Service

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Video Suggestions

Hands

Complimentary Claps

PAMANTHA SHOW LESS

3000/mo

Dollar sign

Free Change Service

Media player

Video Suggestions

Hands

Complimentary Claps

PAMANTHA SHOW LESS

3000/mo

Dollar sign

Free Change Service

Media player

Video Suggestions

Hands

Complimentary Claps

PAMANTHA SHOW LESS

3000/mo

Dollar sign

Free Change Service

Media player

Video Suggestions

Hands

Complimentary Claps

We’re Here to Brand Everything, Everywhere, Anytime

Flat screen tv? Wireless device? Tablet? Laptop? We can put our brand image on all of them. We can do it whenever we want, but mostly you’ll see our logo on your screen when you’re experiencing technical difficulties. This way, you will associate our brand with some of your most emotional moments.

It Is Possible to Pay Us More Money

Easy Care

For only $5.99/mo, you can get priority customer support with annual dish relocation, free service calls, and a priority hotline which connects straight to Jimmy’s Pager – faster than a Led Zeppelin guitar solo. Plus, you can add or cancel Easy Care at anytime.

Voice

The industry term for digital phone service is VoIP. We want to mention VoIP here a few times so that we sound legit and you will forefit your dollars to us. Voice is the only VoIP connection that doesn’t subtract from your internet data allowing more time for Strongbad emails and Battlestar Galactica chat rooms.

DIRECTV

If you can get Brüner at your home, you can get DIRECTV and vice versa. If you can get water in your home, you can quench your thirst and take baths. There is a hypothetical situation where you can take a bath, stream patriotic tunes, watch DIRECTV, and quench your thirst all at the same time.

Get Connected With Brüner Dynamics Today.

Call 1.888.888.8888

What is a Brüner?

You might as well ask what salt tastes like or how water feels. Until you’ve interacted with a Brüner first hand, you can only imagine how great you’ll feel. A warm handshake, a compliment, a rubix cube coaching session, or just a chat about your weekend will leave you feeling better about your self and the world in general.

Brüner Dynamics is on course to change the world:

  • 98% of Americans have never hung out with Jimmy. That’s about to change. With satellite technology, you can hang with him all day, every day.
  • You’ve probably seen our ambiguous guerilla marketing stickers plasterd at various locations from laptops to street lamps.

Equipment

When you sign up for Brüner Dynamics, we make it easy to get connected. We’ll send a professional technician named Ralph to install your new dish in an optimal location and set up your wifi router inside your home.

Brüner Satellite Dish

To access Brüner you’ll need a Brüner Satellite Dish. Jimmy’s cousin Ralph will test for the best installation location and install the dish on your abode. He’ll probably stay for dinner.

Brüner Wi-Fi Modem

The Brüner WiFi Modem gives you wireless internet throughout your home. It also includes a Voice service adapter so we can listen and see if anything cool is happening at your place.

Brüner Dynamics FAQs

Is James listening to my conversation?

Brüner Dynamics is commited to privacy, autonomy, transparency, and idiosyncrasies. In order to maintain our high standard of product, James reserves the right to listen in to conversations in your home. In exceptional circumstances, we reserve the right to have James join your conversation with a really great zinger, joke, quip, or comeback.

Why should I get Brüner Dynamics?

Remember when you were a kid in the 80’s and you were obsessed with space and the future? Well, the future is upon us. We’re still waiting for a nuclear-powered flying Delorean that runs on refuse, but we do have satellites. Hi-tech space craft orbiting our planet, beaming down cat videos to an adoring public. Like the majestic Millennium Falcon from long ago, Brüner Dynamics will put you in touch with the future with a bad-ass satellite dish mounted directly onto your house. “Rogue Two checking in.”

Who is the guy who keeps walking in front of my place? Is that Ralph?

Ralph doesn’t believe in GPS, so he locates the homes where he performs dish installations via a complicated combination of smell, instinct, a divining rod, quantum mathematics, and a form of West African witchcraft. If you hear a strange, oddly-loud humming noise, and you look out the window and see a man with a hand-crafted robo-helmet in your front yard, you have likely been found by Ralph.

Where does space start?

An excellent question. At bruner dynamics, we generally see space as any matter, atmosphere, or void not currently occupied by James Bruner. Therefore, space starts and ends with Mr. Bruner.

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1.888.888.8888